"announcement"

i'm sick! blarck... (that was the closest spelling to the noise i just made) also, as the end the semester is right on top of me, i am going to be a horrible friend. so if i seem to disappear until dec 20th or so it's because i'm holed up in my room or at studio. although i'm going to be awful at correspondence, please send good vibes/well wishes/random phone calls my way b/c i'll need them desperately. i love you all (i feel okey saying that since only my close friends bother to read this).
*buckles down for two weeks of intense comm design*
-k.

Long Drives

For the last three days, I've gone out driving to do a simple errand. And every time I end up not accomplishing the errand, but driving around for hours instead. It's terribly frustrating because I feel like I don't have control over it anymore. I really left intending only to do this one small task, but when I get to an intersection where I've never turned left I find myself in the left-hand lane. Almost like it's not my choice or something. I wish I knew what desire this was satisfying: the time alone, the sense of exploration, the need to "leave" or what.
Today, on what's quickly becoming my daily drive, I saw a boy raking leaves at a hardware store. The way he was moving with the rake was so graceful, almost like dancing. He moved his whole body. Anywho, I was turning around in the hardware store's parking lot and for a split second the boy and I locked eyes. And I started to wonder, what constitutes a "connection" between two people? Because this boy and I have a connection now, even if it was a fraction of a second, like brushing shoulders in an elevator. But did I have a connection with him before? when I noticed him dancing with the rake? Or is a connection only sealed when both parties acknowledge the other's existence? Is that what connection is? Noticing one another? Accepting the fact that, yes, you exist.

Insert your own title

People can fall into two categories: 1. the blissfully naive and 2. those who are aware and dealing with it all. When I was younger, say 13, I was certain that the majority of the world fell into category #1 and that I alone was destined to carry the burden of awareness. What egocentric bullshit. Now I realize that everyone sans the mildly retarded fall into category #2. We're *all* dealing with it. We're *all* complex and interesting. The only difference is what issues and the modes with which we deal with them.

Night colors

i got really into taking photos at night with artificial light's strange colors.

Photos

Someone asked me once if I had more images of ___ (situation/environment). Of course I do! I take way more images that I post on here. I take way more images than I upload too. But those that get uploaded are all over

here.

Check out the ones from today, especially Kip's project. Most of the pictures are way out of focus [b/c I was shooting at night without a flash (choice) and without a tripod (not by choice)]. But it's more about mood anyway. I would love to see some of these images printed really big.

(PS: By showing you this site I am in no way claiming to be "a photographer". So don't go critiquing them as if I'm showing them as photographic masterpieces. If you're here, I assume you're casually interested in the same stuff I am, so here are some pictures of it all.)

Neuroses

I am prone to what I'm going to call "protege" and "side-kick" syndromes. All my life I've been attracted to brighter (not in the intelligence sense, but in the louder/more attractive/attention-grabbing sense) individuals. So I become the side-kick. (Insert name) and Kat, almost like an afterthought. I typically don't mind. How could I when I do it to myself? Or in more extreme cases, I'm drawn to people I find more talented, more sure of themselves, more intelligent because they challenge me to become better. But almost inevitably I will slip into this role of protege. They have something to teach me. And the levels of respect become drastically off-kilter. I will find myself in conversation with them and really excited when they agree with me. Not because we have something in common but because I "answered correctly". And while I can't say that's out of character, because this is obviously a flaw in my character, it's not something I agree with or ever thought that I would do.