so down tonight. i can't figure out why. i think this whole "giving up everything you know and moving somewhere where you know no one and nothing" is starting to get to me. i'm starting to get cold feet. i have to buy my plane tickets soon. i've started selling all off my stuff. i have no idea what i'm doing. sometimes i'm really exhilarated by this move, it's adventurous. but other times i'm just sad and despondent. i feel like i don't have anything keeping me here (besides mr. b), or anything making me move out there. i've got no roots. i'm just floating around. matt applebaum once told me 'you need *something* stable. you need something reliable. or else you just feel like you're foundering.' and i'm there. nothing is stable right now.
perfect song right now: lucero's "i'll just fall"
i'm going to go try to run it off. 'cause that's what i do. i run away until i feel better again.
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